


we're all pretty bizarre

by trouvailleamor



Series: The Breakfast Club [3]
Category: The Breakfast Club (1985)
Genre: Description of Injuries, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-06-17 22:37:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15471648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trouvailleamor/pseuds/trouvailleamor
Summary: A closer look at the members of the Breakfast Club, two at a time.





	1. the world was moving, she was floating above it

Brian Johnson never dreamed that he would end up here, sitting under the bleachers by the football field, skipping class and getting high with John Bender. Bender sits in the rusty old lawn chair with a joint in his hand, looking like a king in his throne. Claire is leaning against a pole, regally applying a layer of pink paint to her nails, every so often looking over at Bender. 

Brian watches them in awe. They exist together as if they were made to. He doesn’t know why he’s being all sappy and romantic. He figures that it’s probably the weed. 

Life has been good for Brian since detention. Well, for the most part. His parents have never been more up his ass about his grades and he is still failing shop, but at least now he has people in his life who have his back. Of course, he’s had friends before and he is still close with his physics club friends, but it’s different now. They don’t understand him like the breakfast club does.

“What’re thinking about, Brian?” Claire asks, breaking through his thoughts.

“Yeah, Big Bri. Please do share with the class,” Bender adds as he leans his head back and exhales smoke out of his mouth. 

“Nothing,” Brian says, voice crack giving him away completely. 

Claire quirks her head slightly and gives him a small smile. Bender lets out a laugh and leans his head towards Claire. 

“He’s probably picturing you naked, Cherry,” He says, which gets him a light smack on his arm courtesy of Claire.

“No,” Brian says quickly, then takes a drag of his joint. “It’s just… I’m happy.”

Claire and Bender say nothing, but a smile forms on Claire’s face and Bender nods slightly in Brian’s direction.

Brian leans all the way back until he feels the grass tickling the back of his neck. He throws his arm over his forehead and looks up at the underside of the bleachers. There’s a few pieces of already chewed gum stuck to the underside of the benches and rust developing on the edges near the cracks. Streaks of light push to break through the dirt and grime. Brian thinks that it’s almost beautiful in a way. It feels almost as if he was always meant to be here.

He’s awoken from his daydream by John pulling the joint from his fingers. “Time to head back inside, Big Bri,” He says as Claire walks by him and ducks out from their hiding place. 

“I’ll be there in a minute. Don’t wait for me,” He says, and Bender shakes his head with a smile on his face. 

“You’re something else,” He mutters as he follows Claire out.

He hears the crunch of their footsteps fade as he focuses again on the small rays of light escaping through the cracks. It seems like the world is a lot bigger when he lies here, that there’s more than his parents, his grades, and his elephant lamp.

With his back on the ground and his eyes fixed on the sky, he finally feels as if the world is his.

Maybe it’s just the weed.

~~~

School has always been something Brian excels at. Every since childhood, Brian’s teachers have told his parents that he is gifted and special. As he sits in shop class and looks down at his dilapidated lamp, their words have never felt more false. 

He wishes Bender and Andrew were in his section. They help a lot outside of class, but there’s only so much that can be done on a piece of paper. For some reason, his brain can’t make sense of the scribbles on his paper. 

His teacher, Mr. Leonard, writes the instructions for the next project, and Brian nearly passes out when he reads the words. 

“For your next assignment, you must construct a fully functional chair. It must not fall apart upon sitting, and it must be nice to look at. I’ll be in my office if you have questions,” Mr. Leonard says, before making slight eye contact with Brian and walking over to the office attached to the classroom. The thing Brian hates most about shop is how vague the instructions are. He also doesn’t like the way the other kids look at him like he’s the dumbest person they’ve ever laid eyes on.

The triumph he felt earlier seems to have faded along with the high as he stares at the instructions on the board. Everyone around him moves over to the work bench, already knowing exactly what to do. It makes him feel small and worthless. 

That is, until Claire Standish appears in the classroom doorway. 

Brian’s mouth opens in shock as she moves across the room. She sits up on the table next to him and smiles. “Hi,” She says.

“Claire? What are you doing here?” Brian says, still in shock. The other students begin to notice the ex-Queen Bee’s presence, and when one of them whistles at her, Brian shoots a look in their direction.

Claire just laughs it off and turns to look at the board. “I’m here to rescue you.”

Before Brian can ask her for a clarification, she slides off the table and walks over to the nearest work bench. She looks up at the board again and begins to organize the pieces of wood resting on the table top. 

“What are you waiting for?” Claire asks, not looking up from the table.

Brian, still very much confused, stands up and shuffles slowly to Claire’s side. “Uh, Claire? What are you doing?”

Candidly and succinctly, she says “I’m helping you build a chair.”

Brian glances at her, then checks to make sure Mr. Leonard isn’t watching over them. He doesn’t want to get caught cheating. He definitely doesn’t want to have to deal with the aftermath of _that_.

“But why?” Brian asks, still incredulous.

“Because John asked me to,” She says, lining up pieces of wood as indicated on the drawing on the board. “Also, I have a trig exam tomorrow and I really need your help. I figured if I helped you with this, you’d help me with that.”

“I would have helped you anyway, if you had asked,” Brian says, blushing slightly.

“I know,” She says with a smile. “Now, let’s get you an A.” 

~~~

The chair is terribly ugly and slightly lopsided, but it stays intact when Mr. Leonard sits in it. He seems rather surprised by that fact, which would have offended Brian if he hadn’t royally screwed up the last project.

Claire definitely overestimated their chair making abilities, but it is a chair and that’s all that matters. After almost two hours of assembling the chair, Claire snuck out the way she came, giving him a wink as she left the classroom. 

Right before he leaves the classroom, Mr. Leonard hands him a slip of folded paper. Anxiously, he unfolds it and sees a red letter ‘C’ written right in the center. Brian feels his eyes prickle with tears. He’s never been so happy to have a C in his whole life. 

The rest of the students brush past him as he leans against the hallway wall. So many thoughts rush through his head. _I’m not going to fail. I’m going to be okay._ He turns his head and looks at the door at the end of the hallway. The sun is shining over the football field and is reflecting off the bleachers, quite like it did that morning. He feels an almost unstoppable magnetic pull telling him to go out there, to go sit under the bleachers and look at the rays of light and feel the warm air. 

He has math class in five minutes. He figures he had a good enough handle on the material. Not even trying to stop himself, he pushes his way out of the building and walks across the green grass.

~~~

Brian is situated quite like before, on his back with one arm thrown over his head. Even without the high moving through him, he still sees the beauty of the rusty old bleachers. He doesn’t know how long he’s been there, but some time later, he hears someone duck under into his hiding place.

“Skipping two classes in one day? People may start to think things, Big Bri,” Bender says, crouching down to sit in his lawn chair. He pulls a cigarette out of his jacket pocket. “Want one?”

Brian shakes his head, but smiles wide and looks again up to the cracks in between the bleacher seats.

“What’s up with you?” Bender asks, using his lighter to ignite his cigarette. 

Brian silently reaches into his pocket and pulls out the slip of paper. He hands it over to Bender, then turns over on his side. Bender unfolds it, and when he sees the red letter, he smirks. “Not bad,” He says.

“It’s all thanks to Claire,” He says. “She said you sent her.”

He furrows his eyebrows and takes a drag of his cigarette. “You think that I would send the princess to help you build a chair? She’d probably be scared to break a nail,” He says.

Brian sits up and almost hits his head on the metal above him. “What do you mean? She said you asked her to do it.”

Bender exhales a cloud of smoke. “I’d never ask Claire to do anything for me.”

“So then why-“

Bender holds up the hand without the cigarette to stop him. “I will never be able to understand the inner workings of the mind of a princess.”

Brian opens his mouth as if to say something, but he lets out a sigh instead.

“I don’t think anyone can,” He says, flopping back down onto his back. A cloud passes over the sun and blocks the rays from passing through the cracks. Despite not being cold, Brian shivers.

~~~

Brian is at his locker when he sees Claire again. She walks up to him with her backpack slung across her shoulder, somehow still looking like she rules the school while smiling at a geek. “You still on for studying?” She asks.

“Yeah, just let me get my stuff,” He says, pulling out books and throwing them into his backpack. He tries to go quickly, but he just ends up dropping his books all over the ground. After struggling for a minute, he zips his backpack up and stands, finding Claire inspecting her newly painted nails. Even though she’s changed, she’s still Claire. And Claire doesn’t go out of her way to help people.

Which is why Brian is so confused about the shop assignment. 

“Ready,” He says, once he realizes that Claire isn’t paying attention. 

She looks up from her fingers and smiles. “Great! I took my dad’s car today so we don’t have to take the bus,” she says. For some reason, Brian can’t picture Claire ever riding a bus. 

They begin their journey to the parking lot, and it was a journey. Claire’s old friends snicker and whisper to themselves as they watch them walk, but to Claire’s credit, she doesn’t acknowledge them and continues walking. Brian’s old friends from the physics club wink at him as they walk by but he just shakes his head. Sure, Claire is one of the prettiest girls at the school, but it’s possible to be just friends with beautiful girls. Some people don’t seem to be able to grasp that concept, including Brian’s friends.

The pair continues to walk in companionable silence, letting their classmates witness their strange friendship. It warms Brian’s heart a little to see Claire being so nonchalant about this. Even a week earlier, a scene like this would have been a joke, a daydream. 

They finally make it out of the school doors and they make their way toward Claire’s car. As they get closer, they see Bender leaning against the car next to hers talking with Andy. Allison is standing by his side but is looking up at the sky as if she is watching something. Claire’s face lights up when she sees them. Well, when she sees John Bender at least. Brian smiles to himself, then waves to his new friends.

“Big Bri, Cherry,” Bender addresses them, nodding his head slightly. 

“Hey,” Claire says, presumably to all of them, but she only has eyes for Bender.

“What are you guys up to?” Andy asks. Brian notices that his hand is clasped in Allison’s, as if he’s trying to keep her from floating away. _She does seem more dazed than usual_ , Brian thinks to himself as he taps his foot on the pavement. 

“Brian’s gonna help me with trig,” Claire says, finally breaking her gaze away from Bender. 

“You have fun with that,” Bender says, the left corner of his mouth curling up. “Sporto, why don’t we go smoke a joint before your meet later?”

“Bender, you know I can’t. I’ll get kicked off the team so fast-“

“Yeah, I get it,” He says, smirking again. He then locks eyes with Claire again. “What are you two still doing here? Considering Cherry has just recently joined the world of the academically inclined, I’m sure you have a lot of work to do.”

“That’s rich coming from you,” Claire says, but there’s no bite behind the words. 

“Bye guys,” Brian says, and Bender and Andy’s eyes snap to his as if they had forgotten he was there. Allison keeps her eyes fixed on the sky, swaying slightly forward and back. 

“See you later, Big Bri,” Bender says, readjusting the glove on his hand. 

“Bye Brian,” Andy says, then he looks over at his girlfriend. He squeezes her hand and she finally looks down from the sky. 

“Hi Brian, hi Claire,” Allison says, her voice soft and slightly distant. 

Claire and Brian glance at each other and then back at Allison, but when she doesn’t say anything else, they wave and walk towards their car. 

~~~

Brian isn’t at all surprised at what he sees when Claire pulls into her driveway. Her house isn’t really a house at all; it’s a mansion. There are two pillars on either side of the porch, and two more closer to the front door. The daunting house shines white in the sun, and there is a fence wrapping around their property. 

Claire puts her car in park and then turns to face Brian in the passenger seat. “Ready?” She asks, looking a little too excited, considering they are about to study trigonometry. 

“Yeah,” Brian says as he fumbles with his seatbelt, trying to unbuckle it. Claire reaches into the backseat and grabs her backpack. Once Brian releases himself, he does the same. 

Claire jumps out of the car and Brian follows, his heart suddenly leaps to his throat. His hands start shaking and sweating so he drags his palms across his jeans. Because he’s been hanging out with Claire at school so much, he had almost forgotten who she really is. 

Claire leads the way up the stairs to the front door, then twists the doorknob. Brian clears his throat, then chokes on his own spit and starts coughing uncontrollably.

She turns around and raises her eyebrows. “Are you okay?”

Brian opens his mouth to answer, but he coughs instead. Claire giggles and slams a hand on his back. After what feels like a few minutes, his lungs stop protesting and he stops coughing. After wiping a tear from his eye, he looks up and find Mrs. Standish standing in front of him with her arms crossed.

“Claire? Who’s this?” She asks. She doesn’t seem particularly concerned about the choking boy standing in her entryway, but she does seem pretty confused. 

“This is my friend Brian. Brian, this is my mother,” Claire says, gesturing to and from Brian. He doesn’t miss the distance in her voice as she speaks.

“Hello Brian,” Her mom says, smiling at him. She then turns to face her daughter and she quirks her eyebrow. Claire rolls her eyes and shakes her head slightly. Brian knows he’s not like the people Claire brings to her house to hang out, but it seems strange to him that her mom would care. 

“We’re gonna go study,” Claire says, grabbing Brian’s arm. 

He tries to pull out of her grasp but shakeups a firm hand on him. He turns his head and smiles at Mrs. Standish. “Very nice to meet you Mrs. Standish. Thank you for having me in your home!” He manages to say before Claire drags him up the stairs.

~~~

As soon as she opens the door to her bedroom, Claire pushes Brian inside, slams the door, dumps her backpack on the floor, and then flops down on her bed. She rubs her hands on her face and then tangles them in her hair. She then rolls over onto her stomach and grabs a magazine off of her bedside table. 

While Claire flips through a magazine, Brian takes a second to observe her room. There’s pink everywhere; pink walls, pink sheets, pink desk chair, pink everything. He had expected this, but now that he’s in her room, it seems too juvenile. 

He takes a tentative seat next to her on her bed, then pulls out a notebook. “Are you ready to get started?” He asks, watching her as she gets sucked into a new article. 

Claire reads a few more lines, then shuts the magazine and throws it onto the floor. “Sure,” She says as she reaches for her backpack. “Sorry about my mom, by the way. She wasn’t supposed to be home.”

“It’s fine,” Brian says, although he’s not completely sure why Claire is apologizing at all.

“I know it may seem like nothing,” Claire says as though she read his mind. “But she judges people. She judges my friends. I’m so used to it now, I can tell when she’s doing it. I can tell exactly what she’s thinking. I don’t like it.” She pulls her trig book out of her bag and then starts to ferociously tear through it. 

“It’s okay,” Brian reassures her again. He’s used to being known as the weird kid. It doesn’t really bother him anymore. 

“No, it’s not. Because I can feel her judging me too,” She says.

Brian doesn’t say anything for a minute. Claire locates the page she needs and she cracks the binding so the book will stay open. He watches as she skims the problem, and then she lets out a sigh. “Mrs. Tremont did this one out on the board in class but I still don’t understand it,” She says, pointing to the problem on the page. 

“Here, let me see,” Brian says and Claire passes over the book. “You have to try to isolate the variable here.”

“I know that,” Claire says, knitting her eyebrows together. “I just can’t seem to get the right number.”

Brian turns his notebook to a new page and pulls a pencil out of his backpack. “Here,” He says, passing both over to her. “Show me how you do it and I’ll see what you’re doing wrong.”

Claire purses her lips together as she takes both the notebook and the pencil from him. She scratches numbers into the paper, every so often letting out a frustrated sigh. While she works on the problem, Brian gets lost in thought. He can’t stop thinking about shop class; how Claire showed up and saved him, and how Bender told him that he didn’t send her. He’s never been more confused.

“Claire?” He says before he can stop himself.

“What? Am I doing it wrong?” She says, huffing out a deep breath.

“No! Well, I don’t know. I just…” He stops, not knowing where to go from here. 

“What’s wrong?” Claire asks, setting her paper and pencil down to her side.

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m just a little confused,” He says. When she furrows her brows, he decides to continue. “Why did you help me in shop today?”

Claire quirks her head to the side. “What do you mean? I already told you-“

“No, I mean really. I asked Bender and he said he didn’t send you. And I’m sure you know that I would help you study if you asked. So why?” He says, clasping his hands together in his lap.

Claire looks away from him and closes her eyes. “Brian, you know I’m fairly new to this,” She says.

“I know that I’m not the type of person you’re seen with, and that’s fine. I’m just confused as to why you showed up at all,” He says, keeping his eyes focused on his lap.

“Because I wanted to help you!” She says, her head snapping back to look at him. He slowly lifts his head to meet her eyes. “It’s not about who you are, Brian. It’s about who I am.”

“What do you mean?” Brian asks, genuine confusion filling every feature on his face. 

“I mean, I’m not used to caring about my friends. Hell, I’m not really used to caring about anyone at all. It’s always been me, myself, and I. John would call me selfish,” A blush spreads across her cheeks as she speaks his name. “But that’s just how it’s always been for me. My parents don’t give a shit, my brother is gone, and I’ve never had friends who were any different from me.”

Brian sits stupidly with a stunned look on his face. When he posed the question, he hadn’t expected this. If anything, he had expected Claire to tell him that he was too weird to be friends with.

“I care about you, Brian. I care about you, and Allison, and Andy, and John. But you have to understand that this is new for me,” She says. Her eyes are misty with tears and she takes a deep breath in an effort to suppress them. 

Brian doesn’t really know how to react, so he drops a supportive hand on her shoulder. She smiles at him and shakes her head. “I forgot to ask you how you did on your chair.”

“Our chair,” Brian corrects, getting him a laugh from Claire. “And I got a C.”

Brian prepared himself for the usual sound of disappointment that comes when he tells people his shop grade. But instead of that, Claire surprises him by throwing her arms around him and enveloping him into a hug. “Congratulations! You’re going to pass!”

Brian smiles into her shoulder and hugs her back. “I am, and it’s all thanks to you.”

Claire lets him go and beams at him. Brian’s heart warms a little bit. “It’s all thanks to us. Give yourself some credit.”

Brian smiles and rolls his eyes. “Come on, we have to study. I’m going to make you understand trig if it kills me,” He says, gaining him a light shove on the shoulder.

“Watch out Johnson, or I might never help you with shop again,” She says with a smirk on her face.

Brian pantomimes zipping his lips, then points at the notebook and pencil. Claire laughs again and grabs them.

~~~

The two of them fall into a companionable silence, only broken by Brian budding in every so often correcting Claire’s mistakes. By the time her mother calls her down for dinner, Claire has pretty much mastered the chapter. 

Claire tells her mom she has to drive Brian home, and the two of them get in the car. Brian navigates while Claire drives them to his house. When they pull into Brian’s driveway, Claire puts the car in park and then turns to face him.

“Thank you so much for helping me out. You’re a life saver,” She says, a smile plastered across her face. 

“I’m always here if you need me,” Brian says, smiling back. 

Claire leans over to give him a hug, and he hugs her back. Brian can’t stop thinking about how lucky he is to have friends like this. Once she lets him go, he grabs his backpack in the front seat and hops out of her car. 

As he walks up the walkway, he hears Claire shout from the car. “See you tomorrow!”

Brian turns and gives her a wave. He smiles because he knows with certainty that he _will_ see her tomorrow, along with Andy, Allison, and Bender. 

His grin only falls of his face when he opens his front door and sees his mother standing there with her arms crossed. “Where have you been, young man?”

Brian shrugs of his backpack and hugs his chest. “I’m sorry, I forgot to call.”

“We almost called the police,” She says, although Brian doesn’t truly believe it. His mother looks more angry than scared. 

“I’m sorry,” He repents again.

“Where were you?” She asks again.

His grin returns as he looks at his mother standing there, not understanding a thing. With a smirk and some newfound confidence, Brian says “I was studying with a friend.”


	2. i'll take care of you (if you ask me to)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Bender have a fight. Then something happens.

There is no doubt in Claire’s mind: John Bender is the most confusing person on the planet. He’s in first place, top of the list, front of the pack. She doesn’t understand how the boy who kissed her in the closet that day, the boy who kisses her softly under the bleachers and plays with her hair and wears her earring, could break her heart in every possible way.

He’s been ignoring her for days now. She knows exactly why he’s avoiding her, but he hasn’t given her a chance to apologize. Or at least explain.

School is now a struggle; she’s been ostracized by her ex-friends and they are actively trying to make her life harder. They sneer at her in the hallway and push around Brian. They catcall Allison when she’s alone in the hallways, and when she’s with Andy, they shout insults at them as they walk by. It’s a terrible nightmare that Claire can’t wake up from, and she can’t help feeling guilty for creating the mess. 

She has just finished her trig test and is leaning on her arm, daydreaming. The test was difficult, but Brian’s tutoring helped her significantly. She doesn’t think that she failed, and that’s the best she could hope for. She even finished ten minutes early, which is a good sign, but generally is bad thing. Because now Claire has time to let her mind wander to John.

The fight they had was nasty and cruel, but she honestly had good intentions at the start of it. She still has good intentions, only John won’t talk to her for long enough to figure that out. The bell rings and transports her out of her thoughts. She swiftly grabs her bag off the floor and her test off her desk, then rushes out of the room, only stopping to hand the teacher her paper. She’s killing two birds with one stone: avoiding her old friends and rushing to catch Bender before his shop class.

Claire knows that John always smokes out under the bleachers during her math period. She’s hoping to catch him on his way back inside. 

As she walks out across the grass to the bleachers by the football field, it becomes apparent that Bender isn’t there. She crouches under the stadium seating and sees that the old lawn chair that John usually lounges in is folded up and leaning against the metal pole. She leans her forehead against the cold metal and lets out a deep sigh. 

After a minute of just standing in the shade with her eyes closed, Claire shakes her head and heads back to the school, leaving Bender’s secret hiding place behind. 

~~~

Claire survives until lunch, keeping her head down and avoiding any contact with her ex-friends. She’s at her locker getting her lunch bag when Brian walks up to her.

“Hey,” he says. 

Claire offers him a small smile. “Hey. Where’s your lunch?” she asks when she realizes he isn’t holding a lunch bag. Even though they have only known each other for a short amount of time, Claire knows that Brian’s mom has a hatred for cafeteria food.

Claire shuts her locker and Brian stands by her side as they make their way to the cafeteria. “I gave it to Bender,” Brian says, and Claire nearly stops in her tracks.

“What? Where is he?” Claire asks. The last few lunches, John had sat on the opposite side of the table from Claire and played with his glove, not saying a word. 

“I don’t know. He said he had to do something,” Brian shrugs, either completely oblivious to the tension between Claire and Bender or politely choosing to ignore it. 

“God, I wish he would just talk to me,” Claire says, shaking her head as they enter the cafeteria. 

Brian doesn’t say anything but Claire can see him glancing at her out of the corner of her eye. They arrive at the table to see Andy already sitting there. For the first time since that Monday a few weeks earlier, Allison is not at his side.

“Hey,” Brian says, taking a seat down next to Andy. “Where’s Allison?” he asks.

Claire pulls out the chair on the other side of Brian and plops down. Placing her lunch bag on the table, she looks over at a silent Andy.

“Andy?” Claire asks, breaking Andy’s quiet stupor. 

“Sorry, it’s been a really long day,” Andy says. Claire and Brian glance at each other very quickly, wondering if they should remind him that it’s only lunch. “Allison stayed home today.”

“Is she okay?” Claire asks.

“Not really,” Andy says playing with his turkey sandwich.

“What happened?” Brian asks, poking his straw into his juice box.

“Her parents are gone,” He says.

The trio falls silent, while Claire and Brian look expectantly at Andy and Andy inspects his hands.

“What do you mean they’re gone?” Claire finally asks.

“I don’t know. She called me last night and said that they left. Said that they packed up most of their clothes,” He says, pulling apart his sandwich. “They didn’t even tell her where they were going. Didn’t even leave a note. How fucked up is that?”

Claire stares at Andy in disbelief. Sure, her parents are jerks, but they would never do something like that. 

“Super fucked,” Brian agrees, shaking his head. 

“What is she gonna do?” Claire asks.

“I don’t know. She doesn’t want to tell the school. You know, in case they come back,” Andy says. “But I don’t really know what to do. I went to her house this morning but she refused to answer the door.”

“That really fucking sucks,” Brian says, and Claire nods. 

“Maybe we could try to talk to her after school?” Claire suggests. 

Andy shrugs. “We can try.” He finally then looks up at his two friends. “Where’s Bender?”

Claire shifts uncomfortably in her seat. “I don’t know. He’s avoiding me,” She says.

“What did you do?” Brian asks, and Claire swats his arm.

“What makes you think I did anything?” She says, her voice pitch growing higher.

“Well, did you?” Andy asks. 

“No!” She shouts, and then quickly quiets, afraid to attract attention. “I mean, I didn’t. He’s angry with me because he’s a stubborn asshole.”

She watches Brian and Andy lock eyes, then they start to laugh. “Hey! Why does it have to be my fault? You both know that John can be a complete jackass if he tries hard enough.”

“Claire, what did you do?” Andy asks, finally taking a bite out of his shredded sandwich. 

Claire rolls her eyes, then grabs her bag and stands up. She dramatically pushes her chair in and waves to her friends.

“Where are you going?” Brian asks, turning to face her.

“Claire, come on,” Andy says.

Claire sighs. “Meet me by my locker after the last bell. I’ll drive us over to Allison’s,” she says, then she walks out of the cafeteria. 

~~~

The rest of Claire’s day drags on. The last twenty minutes of class are pure, unadulterated torture. All she can think about is her predicament with Bender and the problem with Allison. When the bell rings, Claire jumps out of her seat and walks to her locker as fast as she can. Brian is already there when she arrives, and Andy shows up as she is packing her bags. 

“No Bender?” Brian asks.

“I haven’t seen him,” Andy replies, and with a glare from Claire, they both drop the subject.

“Ready to go?” Claire asks as she shuts her locker.

“Ready,” Brian and Andy say at the same time.

The trio makes their way to Claire’s car, and then pile in when they get there. Andy and Brian race for the passenger seat, and Andy comes out victorious. Brian sinks into the back seat and lets out an obnoxiously loud sigh of annoyance.

Claire puts the key in the ignition and starts the car. “You two better not make fun of my driving,” Claire warns.

Andy holds up his hands in surrender and Brian laughs from the backseat. She pulls out of the parking space and drives toward the exit. She subconsciously acknowledges a boy walking on the left side of the road, and swerves the car to give him some space. 

“Hey, that’s Bender!” Brian says, pointing out the left back window. Claire instinctively steps on the brake, and all of their bodies swing forward. 

“Watch it Claire,” Andy says, and she shoots him a glare. 

Brian rolls down his window and waves his hand out. “Hey Bender, where have you been?”

Claire throws the car in park and shoots Brian an angry look. Brian ignores her, and when she faces Andy, he has a bemused look on her face. Claire rolls her eyes and sinks down as far as she can in her seat. 

She doesn’t turn around, but she hears Bender walk over to the window. “Hey, Big Bri,” He says, Claire watching him in the rear view mirror as he rests his forearms against the window pane. To her horror, Bender turns his head and locks eyes with her through the mirror. She quickly turns away, shaking her head. “Sporto, Cherry,” He says. 

“Hey,” Andy says, and then looks at Claire, anticipating her answer.

Claire sighs and lets out a sigh. “Hi,” She says shortly.

“We’re gonna go visit Allison. Wanna come?” Brian asks. Claire grits her teeth and squeezes her hands together. She takes a deep breath and attempts to remain calm. 

“Sorry, I’ve gotta get home,” Bender says. That catches Claire’s attention. In the past weeks that they’ve been together, Claire knows that John avoids going home at all costs. He only goes there to sleep.

“You sure?” Andy asks, also sounding a little bit skeptical.

“Yeah. I’ll see you around,” He says, stepping away from the car. Claire again looks at her rear view mirror. John meets her eyes one last time, then he turns his back and walks away. 

Once Brian rolls up the window and Bender is far enough away, Claire reaches across the back of her seat and whacks Brian’s leg. “Why did you do that?” Claire asks, and Andy laughs by her side.

“What? He’s our friend too. No need to freak out about it,” Brian says.

Claire turns back around and sighs. _Boys just don’t understand,_ Claire thinks as she puts the car in drive and pulls out of the parking lot.

~~~

They get to Allison’s house later than expected, only because Andy and Brian wouldn’t stop making fun of Claire’s driving. In retaliation, she drove 5 miles under the speed limit. She got beeped at an exorbitant amount of times, but the exacerbated cries from her two friends made it all worth it.

When she finally pulls into the driveway, Andy and Brian unbuckle and exit the car so fast that Claire hadn’t even put the car in park yet. She then does, and follows them out.

For a few minutes, it doesn’t seem like Allison is going to answer. Andy is pounding on the door so hard that it looks like it will splinter any second. After a while, he drops his fist and presses his forehead against the door. “Allison, please answer,” he says. Claire is almost surprised to see him like this. She’s known Andy for a long time and she’s seen him date many girls. He’s never been like this with them, not ever. 

Claire is about to suggest that they go away and come back later when Allison finally opens the door. She doesn’t say anything and she turns around, walking back into her empty house. Andy falls forward a little bit but quickly recovers, following her inside. Brian follows him and Claire trails, closing the door behind her. 

Allison walks down the hallway and disappears into her room. Andy hesitates, then looks at Claire. “You should go talk to her,” He whispers.

“What? Why me?” Claire whispers back. Andy definitely knows Allison better than she does, and she doesn’t understand why he wouldn’t want to go comfort his girlfriend. 

“She hasn’t ever had any girl friends to talk to,” he says.

“This isn’t really the kind of stuff girls talk about, Andy. This is heavy,” she says back.

“Just give it a try? Please?” He asks. 

Claire sighs and looks at Allison’s closed bedroom door. “Fine. But if it doesn’t go well, you’re going to deal with it,” she says to them both. She doesn’t mean it, not really, but just as much as Allison hasn’t had anyone to talk to about this issue, Claire has never given advice abut something so serious.

Raising her knuckles to the door, she knocks on the door and waits. For a second, Claire is sure that Allison will keep her locked out, but then the door opens a crack. When it’s evident that she isn’t coming out, Claire glances at Andy and Brian one last time before heading in.

If Allison is surprised that Claire is the one to come into her room, she doesn’t show it. Claire shuts the door behind her and turns to see her sitting on her bed. She doesn’t know what to do, so she walks slowly over to the bed and sits down next to her. 

They sit in awkward silence for what feels like forever. Claire’s legs jump up and down and she rings her hands together. Allison sits absolutely still, and it freaks Claire out how little she moves. After a while, she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Allison, what’s wrong?” Claire asks, and immediately cringes at the sound of her own voice. She’s really not good at this. 

Allison doesn’t say anything, but she does finally shift around. She leans back on her elbows and flops down on her back, causing the bed to shake. Without really thinking, Claire does the same thing. 

She doesn’t want to push, but she remembers what happened that Saturday in detention. She doesn’t want Allison to keep this bottled up so one day she ends up crying on the floor of a library in front of a bunch of strangers again.

“Andy is really worried about you,” Claire offers.

Allison lets out a dry laugh, but doesn’t say anything.

“Brian too,” she says. “And me.”

“Really?” She whispers, dripping in sarcasm.

“Of course we are,” she says, somewhat offended that Allison doesn’t think she cares.

Allison shrugs and plays with her bangs. “That’s weird,” she says, sounding as if she’s on a different planet. 

Claire doesn’t know how to respond to that, so she decides not to say anything. They sit in a more peaceful silence than before. Claire swings her legs back and forth, her toes brushing the ground.

“Do you think they’ll come back?” Claire asks. She has to ask; Andy would be upset with her if she didn’t.

Claire is afraid she won’t answer, but she does. “I don’t know,” she says softly. “It won’t make a difference whether they do or not. They ignore me anyway.”

Claire sighs. She doesn’t really know how to deal with this. “I wish my parents would ignore me,” she says the only thing she comes up with.

“But they don’t, Claire. Do they?” she says, and although the words are harsh, she doesn’t sound particularly angry.

“I’m sorry Allison,” Claire immediately repents. “I’ve never done this before. I don’t really understand either. I’ll just go,” she says and she goes to sit up, but Allison grabs her arm and pulls her back down.

“It’s okay. I understand,” Allison says.

They fall back into a silence, both of them staring at the white ceiling above. After a while, Allison turns her head to look at Claire. “Where’s Bender?”

Claire groans, grabs Allison’s pillow, and shoves it against her face. “That boy is the bane of my existence,” she muffles into the pillow. 

“What? Is there trouble in paradise?” Allison jokes. Claire slams the pillow down on her lap and groans again.

“He hates me,” Claire says, laughing at the irony of the situation. Before detention, she would have cringed if Bender even look in her direction. Now, she would do anything to catch his attention again. 

“He doesn’t,” Allison says. “But, what happened?” 

“This isn’t about me. We’re here for you,” Claire says, avoiding her gaze.

Unfortunately for her, Allison notices. “You’re dodging the question. We’ve already got me talking. Just tell me,” she says.

Claire sighs again and slips onto the floor. Allison follows her, and they lean against the bed. “We fought,” Claire says.

“Don’t you always fight?” Allison says, playing with her bangs again.

“Not really. I mean, usually it’s just playful. But this time, there was yelling and crying. It was bad. I doubt he’ll ever talk to me again,” she says. 

Allison looks over at Claire and dramatically rolls her eyes.

“What? It’s true. He barely likes me any way. This was just the final straw,” Claire says, pulling her fingers through her red hair. 

“I don’t think that’s true,” Allison says. Claire waits for her to elaborate, but she doesn’t. “What did you do?”

“Why does everyone seem to think it’s something I did?” Claire snaps. 

“Well, is it?” Allison asks. 

Claire throws her head back and stares at the ceiling. “I don’t really know. I just want to talk to him.”

Allison pauses and twiddles her thumbs. “You could always try harder,” she says. 

Claire doesn’t reply; she doesn’t feel like she needs to. Instead, she rests a supportive hand on Allison’s knee. They sit still like that for a few minutes, both staring at the wall in front of them.

Allison breaks the silence. “You can send Andy in now,” she says. She shifts her body to make eye contact with Claire. “Go talk to Bender.”

Claire sighs then pushes herself up. “I doubt he’ll answer the phone.”

Allison stands up as well, then settles back down on her bed. “You never know,” Allison says. “He could be waiting for you.”

Claire smiles weakly down at her friend. “Thanks Allison. I feel like you have helped me more than I’ve helped you.”

Allison waves her hand and blows her bangs out of her face. “You did great, Claire. No one can fix this mess,” she says.

Deciding to leave it there, Claire shoots Allison one last smile and and quickly turns to leave. When she open the door out to the hallway, she sees Brian sitting against the wall and Andy leaning against the door opposite of Allison’s, picking his fingernails. She pulls the door closed behind her with a small click, and Andy glances up to meet her eyes. 

“Is she alright?” he asks, still pulling at the skin surrounding his fingernails. 

Claire doesn’t truly know how to respond to that, so she just shrugs. “She wants to see you,” she says in place of a real answer. 

Andy smiles, and Claire can tell that he doesn’t realize he’s doing it. It looks like one of those smiles that sneaks onto your face without you noticing, at least until your cheeks start to hurt. “Thanks for coming over guys,” Andy says. “I think I’ve got it from here.”

“You don’t want us to stay?” Brian asks. He rises to his feet and brushes off his khakis with the palms of his hands. 

“How are you going to get home?” Claire adds. 

Andy leans against the door frame and puts his hands in his front pockets. “I think I might stay here tonight. I can call my parents and tell them I’m sleeping at Stubby’s or something,” he says.

Hearing Stubby’s name come out of Andy’s mouth catches Claire off guard. _Do his parents not know about what happened to his old friends? Do they know about Allison?_ Claire thinks to herself. 

“Okay,” Brian says. “Tell Allison I hope she feels better soon. Not like that will help at all…”

Claire presses a supportive hand to Brian’s shoulder as he trails off. “There’s not much that can help. We’re only in high school. I’m sure she’ll be happy to know you care.”

Brian nods to himself and looks at Claire. “Are you going to drive me home?”

Claire raises her eyebrows and pulls her hand off his shoulder. “I will, but if you even _mention_ anything about my driving ability, you’re walking.”

Brian laughs nervously and locks eyes with Andy. “God help me.”

~~~

Claire makes it to Brian’s house without incident. He didn’t open his mouth the entire ride, but she did see him gripping the side of his seat until his knuckles were white.

When she pulls into his driveway and throws her car in park, he doesn’t move for a while. Claire turns to face him and sees him wringing his hands in his lap. “Brian, what’s wrong?” Claire asks.

Brian bites his lips and shakes his head. “Nothing,” he says, but he still doesn’t make a move to get out of the car. 

After a few beats of uncomfortable silence, Claire sighs. “A lot has happened today, so either tell me what’s up or get out of the car,” she says, cringing when she realizes that she sounds like her old self.

Brian’s head shoots up at her words and his eyebrows raise to his hairline. “I- Alright,” he says and reaches over for the door handle. Claire inhales deeply and reaches across the center console, grabbing his left wrist and pulling him back. 

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I’m- I don’t really know how to deal with all this. My old friends never talked about real things. This is all just happening so fast… and I honestly don’t know what I’m doing. So just tell me what’s going on.”

Brian shifts back into the seat and sighs. After a quick pause, he asks, “What’s going to happen to us?”

Claire furrows her brow. “What do you mean?”

Brian spins to face her. “What’s gonna happen to the Breakfast Club?” He asks, spitting out the words as if he’s been holding them in for a while.

“What are you talking about? We’re fine,” Claire says, but then she stops. _Are we fine?_

“Are we, Claire?” Brian asks, stealing the words from her mind. “Because you and Bender aren’t talking, and Allison is falling apart.”

“Allison is going to be fine,” Claire says, hoping that saying the words will somehow make them true.

“Is she? What about Andy?” Brian asks, his leg bouncing up and down. 

“What’s wrong with Andy?” Claire says, suddenly leaning forward.

“His parents are gonna ruin him! They don’t know anything about us or Allison. What do you think they’re going to do when they find out?” Brian says, his leg bouncing and his hands wringing together.

“It’s going to be alright. He knows what he’s doing,” Claire says, wondering how she ended up instilling so much faith in a boy that she’s been friends with for years, but only recently learned anything of substance about. 

“He doesn’t. He doesn’t know what he’s doing at all. Do you want to know what Allison told me the other day? Andy asked her not to come to his wrestling match tomorrow because his dad is going to be there. She thinks that he’s embarrassed of her, and that may be true, but I honestly think that if his dad and Allison were in the same room, he wouldn’t know who to choose,” Brian says, words tumbling out of his mouth like an avalanche. 

“What…” She starts but can’t seem to finish. “He said that?” 

Brian moves his head in a stiff nodding motion. “She’s already hurt because of that, and now her parents are gone. I’m scared that she’s going to push him and the rest of us out completely and never talk to us again.”

“Allison wouldn't do that. She cares about us,” Claire says, placing a hand on his jumping knee. 

“Yeah? What about you and Bender?” He shoots back at her. 

“What about us?” Claire asks, pulling her hand away as if his leg burned her.

“You haven’t spoken to him in days,” Brian says. “What if you don’t talk to him again?”

For the first time, Claire doesn’t see Brian as a nerd or her friend. She sees him as a boy, who is terrified of losing the only people he cares about and is scared about things going back to the way they were before. For a moment, Claire’s mind jumps to the gun that accidentally exploded in Brian’s locker. She doesn’t want him, or any of her friends for that matter, to feel like that ever again.

“We are going to talk again,” Claire assures him. “In fact, as soon as I get home, I’m gonna call him.” She hadn’t realized that she decided to do that until the words came out of her mouth.

Brian meets her eyes and a large smile takes over his face. “Really?” He asks. Claire thinks he looks like a child who’s divorced parents just announced that they’re getting back together. 

“Really,” she says, committing herself to dialing John Bender’s number the second she walks through her front door. 

Brian smiles again, then reaches over and pops the door open. “Well, I guess I’d better let you get home then.”

“Alright,” Claire says, watching him as he gathers his things and steps out of her car. Before he can shut the door, she leans over the console and smiles up at him. “Don’t worry about Allison and Andy. Everything will work out.” 

Brian just nods one more time, then shuts the door. Claire waits until he retreats into his house before she backs out of his driveway.

~~~

Claire is sitting on her bed, staring at her phone. 

Her parents are gone, out at some work party where they will inevitably pretend like they are happily married and living a perfect white picket fence life. They won’t be back until the morning; Claire wonders how they will be able to deal with each other in a hotel room all night. 

Claire is sitting on her bed, staring at her phone, Bender’s phone number dancing around in her thoughts. Bender gave her the number a few weeks ago, but told her not to call him unless there was an absolute emergency. It was the first conversation they had where Bender’s voice didn’t drip with any sarcasm. She is wondering if their current situation constitutes an emergency. 

Before she can come to a conclusion, the phone rings. She nearly jumps out of her skin and accidentally kicks the phone off her bed. Claire dives off her bed after the phone and quickly picks it up. “Hello?” She says, sitting on the floor and slightly out of breath.

“Cherry,” the voice on the other end of the says.

The second she hears Bender’s voice, so many emotions that she has been burying for the last few days boils up to the surface. “John. Calling to say you’re sorry?” She snaps, not quite knowing what comes over her. “Because I’ve been trying to talk to you all week and you’ve been avoiding me. I personally don’t think that’s very fair.”

“Cherry,” Bender huffs, and Claire can almost hear his eye roll. 

“No, you listen to me John Bender,” Claire cuts him off. “I like you, but that doesn’t mean that I’ll take shit from you. You can’t shut me out because you don’t agree with what I have to say. I’m allowed to have opinions! And before you say anything, yes I’m allowed to have opinions about your life. Because I like you, and I’m pretty sure you like me too.”

“Cherry,” Bender tries again, groaning out the words.

Claire isn’t even close to done. “I’m not some dumb piece of arm candy and I won’t let you walk all over me. I am _not_ my mother. So you can just-“

“Claire!” Bender says sternly into the receiver, and Claire immediately falls silent. She can’t ever recall a time when Bender called her by her given name when he wasn’t making fun of her. This time, he sounds serious.

“What’s wrong?” She immediately asks, finally standing up from her place on the floor. “What happened?”

“I-“ he starts, then she hears him hiss through his teeth. “I’m hurt.”

“Where are you,” Claire demands.

“By the football field at school,” Bender says, his voice barely audible. 

Before Claire can even wonder why he’s there, she says, “I’ll be right there,” and then hangs the phone up with a loud bang. 

~~~

Claire is pretty sure that she broke about 10 different traffic laws driving to Shermer High, but as she turns into the parking lot going at least 30 miles per hour, the only thought going through her head is _I’ve gotta find Bender_. She pulls into a spot and throws her car into park, then practically jumps out of her car. She breaks out in a run and sprints over to the football field. 

At first, she doesn’t see him. It feels like her heart is sinking in her chest. She doesn’t know how badly he’s hurt, who hurt him, or where he is. “Bender!” Claire shouts through cupped hands. 

Then she sees him, leaning against the phone booth where he must have called her from. He’s holding his stomach and is leaning over himself slightly. He looks up at her through his bangs and forces a smile in her direction. 

“Cherry,” he chokes out.

“Don’t talk,” Claire says as she walks toward him, her hands automatically coming to touch the sides of his face. “What hurts?” 

“Can’t exactly tell you that if I’m not allowed to talk,” Bender says, his smirk turning into a wince.

“What. Hurts.” Claire demands, gripping his face and forcing him to meet her eye.

John sighs, then reaches up and pushes her hands away from his face. “My ribs and my arm,” he says, his face more open than she’s ever seen him. 

“Let me see,” she says, slowly moving her hands to grip the hem of his shirt. She watches Bender’s eyes widen as he pushes her hands away again. “What?” She asks.

“I shouldn’t have called you. I’m fine,” Bender says, and Claire can physically see him shutting down.

Because he pushed her hands away twice, Claire doesn’t try again. Instead, she brushes his bangs to the side with her hand and drops them back to her sides. “You’re not getting out of this that easy,” she says. By the looks of him, she knows he needs to go to a hospital. But she also knows Bender, and if she even mentions the word, he’ll be gone before she even finishes her sentence. “Let’s go back to my house.”

Bender raises his eyebrows. “But Cherry, what will your mommy and daddy say?” He says, his lip curling up on the side. No matter the situation, Claire knows that Bender will always resort to his old ways.

“They’re not home,” Claire says. Before Bender can get another word in, Claire turns around and walks towards her car. Without saying a word, Bender shuffles along behind her.

He gets into the passenger seat with great care, grunting a little as he tries to get comfortable. Claire grits her teeth together as she tries to keep her composure. She wants to know so much: who hurt him, why, and if they’ll do it again. Based on what he told them in detention, she thinks that she knows the answers to all of her questions. And if it is what she thinks, how can she let him go back there?

She just needs to get him back to her house. Then she’ll be able to think. 

~~~

Bender didn’t say a word the entire drive. Claire kept looking over at him, watching him lean his forehead against the window. She almost missed her street because she was watching him so intently. 

Once they get to her house, she leads him to the couch in her living room. He carefully sits himself down and sinks into the cushions with a deep sigh. Claire sits down next to him, unsure of what to do next. 

“I’m not gonna break, you know,” Bender says, catching Claire’s concerned eye. 

“Are you sure?” Claire says, intending for it to be a joke, but he quickly looks away from her. She sighs deeply and sinks into the couch right next to him. They sit in silence for several minutes, the only sound the ticking of the clock hanging on the opposite wall. 

“Are you okay?” Claire asks, knowing the answer already but not knowing what else to say. 

He sighs and unconsciously holds his injured arm with his other hand. “I shouldn’t have called,” he says, staring down at his feet. 

Claire can’t read him at all. She can’t tell if he’s angry with her or if he just doesn’t want her to know what’s going on. She carefully lifts his chin up with her finger and forces him to look at her. “Then why did you?” 

He raises his eyebrows, then flicks his tongue out slightly to wet his lip. “I- I didn’t know what else to do. It isn’t usually this bad and I don’t think I can patch this up myself.” He gestures to his limp arm. 

“Do you think it’s broken?” Claire asks, still holding onto his chin so he can’t look away. 

“I don’t know. Maybe,” he says, finally pulling his face away from her hand. “It usually doesn’t hurt this bad.”

“We should get you to a doctor,” Claire says, and in an instant, Bender is up off the couch and walking towards the door. Claire rushes to block his exit and plants her feet in front of him.

“No way Cherry. No hospitals,” Bender says, gritting his teeth and staring her down. 

Claire sighs. _There’s no way he’ll listen to me, but I can’t take care of this myself,_ she thinks. “Alright,” she says. “Fine. No hospitals. Will you please just sit down?”

Bender huffs and murmurs something Claire doesn’t hear under his breath, then carefully sinks down into the couch. Claire breathes a sigh of relief and sits down next to him. He’s still not looking at her, only watching the twiddling thumbs in his lap. It’s awkward to say the least, especially since they haven’t talked about the elephant in the room.

“John,” Claire says. “Was it your dad?” 

“Really Cherry, how did you come to such an outlandish conclusion?” Bender says, sneering at her before returning to watching his hands in his lap. 

Claire sighs, knowing that making him more upset won’t help anything. “I’ll get you some ice,” she says, then makes her way to the kitchen. 

While she digs through her freezer, she absentmindedly wonders if Bender will still be sitting there when she get back, or if he will have silently vacated. She doesn’t understand him at all. _What am I supposed to do if he won’t talk to me? How am I supposed to deal with a broken arm? Why did he even call me?_ Thoughts bounce around her head as she pops ice cubes out of a tray and places them in a bag. She zips it closed and takes a deep breath. _I have to figure out how to get him to a doctor…_ She thinks. Then, Claire whips her head up. “Wait, that’s it!” She whispers to herself, vacating the kitchen and rushing back to the living room. 

Thankfully, Bender is still there, except now the television is on and he is aggressively switching through the channels. “Isn’t there anything on that isn’t complete shit?” He asks, flipping through a few more channels before settling on a workout video. 

“I don’t know what you want me to do about that,” Claire says, sitting herself down next to him again and handing him the homemade ice pack. He takes it from her and places it over his ribs. He hisses in pain as he moves and Claire has to close her eyes to stop herself from bursting into tears. She isn’t sure how to deal with this. 

She doesn’t know how long she closes her eyes for, but after a few moments, she feels a hand closer around hers. She opens her eyes slightly to look down at her lap, where Bender’s hand is intertwined with hers. She whips up her head to meet his eyes. He has that soft look in his eyes, the one that she only sees on very rare occasions. 

“I shouldn’t have called,” Bender says softly, readjusting the ice pack with his other hand.

“I’m glad you did,” Claire says. “You’re hurt.”

Bender seems to come back to himself and slowly pulls his hands from hers. He leans further back into the couch and supports his injured arm. Claire watches him as he begins to switch through the channels again in frustration before throwing the remote onto a chair across the room. Sensing Bender’s growing discomfort, Claire stands and holds out her hand.

“If I promise not to drive us to the hospital, will you come somewhere with me?” Claire asks. 

Bender raises his eyebrows. “You trying to kidnap me, Cherry?” 

Claire sighs and rolls her eyes. She shakes her hand by his face. “Please?” 

Bender sighs. “No hospitals, no doctors. Promise?” 

“I promise. No healthcare professionals whatsoever,” she says. He rolls his eyes, but grabs her hand and pulls himself up next to her. 

“Fine,” he says, and Claire smiles.

~~~

Bender doesn’t say anything until they cross the border into Missouri. For the first few hours in the car, the only sounds heard were Bender’s intermittent groans of pain and the soft hum from the radio. But once the “Welcome to Missouri” sign comes into view, Bender finally speaks.

“Where the fuck are we going?” He spits out. Claire glances at him sideways and sees him working his jaw and clenching his fists in his lap.

“We’re almost there,” she says, gripping the steering wheel. In her head, she’s praying that he won’t be angry when they get to your destination. 

~~~

When they pull up in front of a small, one story house, Bender doesn’t move. Claire unbuckles her seatbelt and pops open her door. When she notices that Bender isn’t following her lead, she asks, “Are you okay?” 

“What the fuck is this, Cherry?” Bender asks, staring into her eyes. She squirms a little but refuses to look away. 

“Someone here can help you,” Claire says.

“I swear to God Cherry, if you get me taken away before I age out in 2 months, you’ll never see me again,” Bender says, and Claire shivers at the intensity in his voice. As she digests his words, she realizes why he’s been so cryptic about the whole situation.

“You know you need help,” she says, and he doesn’t say anything. It really doesn’t warrant a response.

“Just two more months,” John says quietly, more to himself than to her. 

“Come on, let’s go inside,” Claire says, finally stepping out of her car. The house looks the same as she remembers; a long white rectangle with a perfectly green yard. There’s a large oak tree sitting in the middle of the front lawn, the leaves no longer hanging on the branches. She honestly can’t believe that she remembered how to get there. She hasn’t been to this house in so long, and the lack of change makes her feel as though she’s eleven again.

Claire walks around to the passenger side of the car and opens Bender’s door. He raises his eyebrows again as Claire offers him her hand, but he takes it and uses the leverage to lift his injured body out of the car. Claire shuts the door behind him and leads the way across the lawn towards the front door.

The two of them stand side by side underneath the porch light as Claire reaches over and rings the doorbell. _What an odd pair we make,_ Claire thinks, a soft smile taking over her features. Impulsively, she reaches over and slips her hand into his. To her surprise, he doesn’t pull his hand away.

“So, you gonna tell me whose house this is Cherry?” Bender asks, skillfully keeping his eyes locked on the door.

“Uh,” Claire says, but she’s interrupted by the door swinging open.

A fully grown man appears into view and Claire almost bursts into tears right there. He looks so different, so _old_. He furrows his brow and his jaw drops. 

“Claire?” He says, shaking his head slightly. He then looks down at John and Claire’s joined hands, and Bender strategically pulls his hand away from hers. 

“Hi,” she exhales, and she’s certain that he didn’t hear her, but then he laughs.

“What are you doing here?” He asks.

Coming back to herself and remembering what situation she’s in, Claire gasps. “Right! John, this is my brother Patrick,” she says, gesturing to the man standing in the doorway. “Patrick, this is John Bender. He’s hurt and we need your help.”

~~~

To her surprise, Patrick didn’t ask any more questions before shepherding the two of them into the living room. After showing them to the couch, he mutters something under his breath and rushes out of the room. 

As soon as he’s out of sight, John turns to Claire. “Your brother?”

Claire nods. “He’s a med school drop out. He’ll be able to help you.”

“Didn’t make it all the way through?” Bender asks. The usual malice or sarcasm is absent from his voice, causing Claire to smile softly.

“Nope. He realized a little over halfway through that it was more my parents’ dream than his and he dropped out. He’ll know enough to fix your ribs and arm though,” Claire says.

“And he’s not a mandated reporter,” Bender says softly. Claire reaches over and grasps his hand again.

Claire can’t help but feel wrong about this whole situation. Half of her wants to call the cops right now and have Bender’s dead beat dad arrested for what he has likely been doing to his son for years. A smaller, more angry part of her wants to go kick his head in herself. But Bender is the one who has been dealing with this, and she wants to follow his lead. She just has to find a way to get him out of there for good.

“You haven’t seen him in a while, have you?” Bender asks. Claire expected Bender to reject her help completely and leave without another word, but he seems so defeated and quiet. Claire doesn’t quite know what to do with this John Bender.

“No, I haven’t. Not since he first moved in here,” Claire says, looking around the room. It’s more decorated than it was when she was last here, and it looks nicer than she expected from her brother. 

Bender hums in reply, then looks down at his hands. He fidgets with his thumbs and lets his bangs fall in front of his face. Claire reaches out and brushes the strands of hair away, like an inborn reflex. He flinches a little, but otherwise doesn’t move. Claire realizes that he looks like a helpless child, that he _is_ a helpless child. It’s not a bad thing, she thinks, it just _is_. It’s the reality. He’s only 17. He should be looking forward to his future. He should be planning out the rest of his life. Instead, he’s hoping to survive the next two months until he can leave his house for good. 

Her brother rushes back into the room, as quickly as he left earlier. He’s holding a backpack in his right hand and an icepack in his left. “Alright,” Patrick says. “Let’s take a look.”

Patrick motions for Bender to lift up his shirt and then he starts to dig through his backpack. Bender struggles to lift the fabric over his head, and Claire reaches over to grip the hem and pull. Once the shirt is off, Bender smirks. “Not exactly how I imagined this moment, Cherry,” he says. Claire flushes a dark red and kicks Bender’s shin lightly. 

Her brother glances up from his backpack and looks between them. He quirks his head, then shakes it. He then pulls out some gauze and some antiseptic. “I’m gonna clean the open wounds with this, then I’ll take a look at the rest of it. Is that okay?” Patrick asks Bender, who nods in response. 

As he dabs the wet gauze to the open abrasions on his face, Bender hisses in pain. She keeps her eyes fixed on his face, attempting to avoid another awkward moment between her and Patrick. But once Patrick begins to examine his chest, she looks down. She has to suppress a gasp when she sees the bruises that scatter his skin.

Bruises in various stages of healing are all over his torso, and the large cigar burn has completely scarred over on his arm. If Patrick is surprised by what he sees, he doesn’t show it. He gently touches the ribs on his left side and John winces, but doesn’t move otherwise. Patrick then focuses his attention on John’s arm. 

“Well,” Patrick says as he steps away from the couch. “There’s nothing I can really do about the broken ribs. They’ll heal on their own as long as you let them. But I can reset your arm and wrap it.”

“Thanks,” Bender says softly. It’s not a word he says very often, Claire thinks.

“Can I ask what happened here?” Patrick asks. Claire holds her breath as she sees Bender stiffen.

After a second of silence, Bender says, “Fell down the stairs.”

“Really?” Patrick asks, crossing his arms.

“I’m rather clumsy,” Bender says, raising his eyebrows as if to challenge him to ask again.

Patrick sighs. “Alright, fine,” he says. “I’m just gonna go get some stuff I can wrap it with.”

Bender nods and grabs his shirt from the floor. As he tries to pull it over his head, Patrick speaks again. “Claire, can I talk to you for a second?” He motions with his head for her to follow him into the kitchen. She nods and grips Bender’s shoulder before getting up to follow him out. 

When they turn the corner into the kitchen, Patrick suddenly turns around and wraps her into a hug. Claire immediately reciprocates, pulling him closer. “Claire, I’ve missed you so much,” Patrick says, then he pulls away.

“I’ve missed you too,” Claire says, tears brimming in the corners of her eyes. “It’s been so long.”

“Yes it has,” Patrick says, although he doesn’t seem to be fully engaged in the conversation anymore. He glances over her shoulder at the doorway that leads to the living room. “Claire, what’s going on here?”

“What do you mean?” Claire asks, crossing her arms.

“That kid out there, your boyfriend,” he whispers, gesturing to the doorway. “Is obviously being abused.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Claire says, and the words sound stupid to her own ears. 

Her brother seems to think it sounds stupid too because he sighs. “Claire, honestly.”

“I know he’s being abused. _I know_. I don’t know what to do,“ she says quietly, praying that Bender can’t hear what she’s saying. Hoping that he can’t hear her voice shaking. 

“Why didn’t you bring him to a hospital? Why did you bring him here?” Patrick asks, and Claire realizes that he’s angry. He’s _angry_ with her. 

“He refused! He would have run away if I brought him to a hospital! He would have run away and I would have never seen him again. I wouldn’t have been able to see if he’s okay. He would have left,” she says, and she knows she’s rambling. But her brother places a soft hand on her shoulder and squeezes. 

“Okay, it’s alright. It’ll be alright,” Patrick says, and his voice is so calm that she almost believes him.

“Will his injuries heal?” Claire asks.

“They should,” Patrick says. “But that is dependent on whether or not he gets injured again.” Claire shudders and shakes her head. “And although technically I am not a mandated reporter, there is no way I’m comfortable sending him back home with you to whoever is doing this,” Patrick finishes.

Claire sighs and rubs her forehead. “I know. I don’t want to either. But he doesn’t like accepting help from people,” she says.

“Well he’s going to have to,” Patrick says. “Because I will call the police.”

Claire’s heart sinks. “Patrick, you can’t. It’s two months until he turns 18. He doesn’t want to deal with the system since he’s aging out so soon.”

“Can he stay with one of his friends?” Patrick asks. 

Claire runs through each of her friends in her mind; Brian’s parents would flip out if he even asked, Andy is too scared to even introduce Allison to his parents, and her parents would kick her out like they kicked Patrick out all those years ago. But Allison…

“Actually, maybe he can,” Claire says. “Could I use your phone?”

Patrick nods and points to the wall behind him. “Go for it. I’m gonna go set his arm. It’s probably best if you aren’t there for that. It’s gonna be rather unpleasant,” he says. 

Claire grimaces and closes her eyes. _How is this my life now?_ She thinks. Her brother walks past her and out the kitchen door. She dials Allison’s number by heart and listens to it ringing.

“Hello?” Andy’s voice fills her ear and she almost laughs. She can’t believe that she had seen him today. That it was still _today_. 

“Hey, Andy. It’s Claire,” she says.

“Oh hey! I was actually just about to call you. Allison wants to have a movie night or something if you’re around. I know you just left and everything but-“

“Sorry to interrupt, but I’m actually in Missouri right now,” Claire says. “With Bender.”

“Wait, what? What’s going on?” Andy says, and Claire can hear Allison saying something in the background. 

“It’s kind of a long story,” Claire says. “But John’s hurt and I took him to my brother’s house. He’s gonna need someplace to stay for a while when we get back.”

“Is he alright?” Andy asks.

Claire covers her other ear as soon as she hears painful groans coming from the other room. “He will be. Do you think he could crash with Allison?” She asks.

“Here, let me put her on,” Andy says, then she hears the shuffling of them exchanging the phone on the other end. 

“Claire,” Allison says.

“Hey. Did you hear-“

“Yes he can stay with me,” she says, and Claire can’t be sure if she actually overheard or if she just knows.

“Really? That’s great,” Claire says. “And… how are you doing?”

“Fine,” she says. 

At first, Claire thinks that she’s going to say something else. When she doesn’t, Claire coughs uncomfortably. “Well, I’m gonna go. John can stay with me tonight since my parents aren’t home and it’ll be late. I can drop him off in the morning.”

“Alright. Tell him I hope he’s okay,” Allison says, then hangs up before she can respond.

Claire puts the phone back on the receiver, then leans her head against the wall. Just as her forehead hits the yellow wallpaper, Patrick comes back into the room. 

“He’s okay, he’s a real fighter. It should heal correctly as long as he lets it,” he says.

“Our friend Allison is gonna let him crash there for a while. Her parents… are out of the picture for the time being,” Claire says.

Patrick furrows his brow and tilts his head to the side. “Who are you hanging out with, Claire-bear?” He asks.

Claire smiles at her childhood nickname, one she hasn’t heard since her brother left home all those years ago. “They’re good people. It’s kind of new, honestly.”

Patrick smiles, then shakes his head. “You’re so different now,” he says. 

Claire shares a small smile. “It’s been a while, Patrick.”

As soon as the words leave her mouth, she watches Patricks face fall. “Claire, I’m so sorry I haven’t been able to be there for you,” he says softly.

“That wasn’t your fault. Mom and Dad wouldn’t let me see you,” she says, reaching over to grip his hand. He squeezes back. 

“I know. But still,” he says, trailing off. He drops her hand and looks over his shoulder. “You should probably know that I don’t live alone anymore, and he’ll be home soon.”

“I figured that this house wasn’t just for you,” Claire says, her voice dropping to a whisper. She knows why he’s being so cryptic; he doesn’t want to be rejected a second time by someone he loves. “You don’t have to worry about me. And I’m sure Bender won’t say anything.” Even though Claire isn’t sure, she’ll give him the worst glare he’s ever seen if he says anything bad about her brother. 

“You call him Bender?” Patrick asks, a small smirk on his face.

Claire blushes. “Only sometimes,” she says. 

Patrick reaches over and ruffles her hair, just like he used to when she was younger. She instinctively reaches up to straighten it out again. She then hears a car door slam and moments later, the clock of the lock. Claire watches as Patrick takes a shaky breath. “Let’s head out there,” he says.

Claire follows Patrick into the living room and sits on the couch next to Bender. He’s fiddling with a makeshift sling that is supporting his broken arm. Claire gently reaches over and pulls his hands away, taking them in her own. Bender whips his head up and looks at her like it’s the first time. She smiles faintly and squeezes his hands. He looks at her like this for a few more seconds before shaking his head and smirking. Before he can say whatever he’s about to say, they are interrupted by Patrick opening the door.

Both of them turn their heads when they hear another voice. “Hey babe, what’s with the welcoming committee?” Claire watches as her brother blushes a deep red while he frantically shakes his head.

“We have guests,” Patrick says, his body stiff. Claire watches as another man, who looks about the same age as her brother, walks through the doorway. He’s handsome, Claire thinks, his blond hair cut short by his ears. He’s tall, taller than Patrick, and he’s wearing a sweater that Claire could swear she’s seen on Brian before. He looks over at the couch and makes eye contact with her.

“Oh?” He says, and Claire thinks that he’s appropriately surprised to see two unknown teenagers sitting on his couch. 

“Uh, yeah. This is my sister Claire, and her boyfriend John,” Patrick says, weakly motioning to them as he names them. If Bender reacts to being called her boyfriend, Claire doesn’t notice. In fact, she’s been watching him since the other man showed up and he has given nothing away as to what he is thinking.

“Your sister Claire?” The man says, his jaw dropping a bit. “Well, isn’t this a surprise?”

Patrick shuts the door behind the man, and places a hand on the small of his back. “Claire, John, this is Jimmy.”

Bender nods his head slightly in greeting. Claire smiles and says, “Hello. Sorry for crashing your night.”

Jimmy seems shocked by their reactions, often turning his head to look at Patrick. “Um, it’s no problem,” he says, seeming unsure as to what to say. He seems to come out of his shock a few seconds later, and he smiles. “It’s nice to meet you both!” He says, then he strides across the room to stand in front of them. He offers his hand first to Claire, then to Bender, and they both shake it. 

“Hey,” Bender says, and Claire watches Jimmy see Bender’s injuries for the first time. His eyes widen and he looks over at Patrick, who just shakes his head in response. 

Instead of asking any questions, Jimmy says, “Did you offer food to our guests?” 

Claire watches her brother smile and give Jimmy a look of fondness, one that she has never seen between her two parents. She can’t keep the smile that grows on her face. To her, it seems like Patrick has won something over their parents, just because he has tapped into something that they will never have. Claire thinks that there is no other revenge more sweet. 

“I actually ordered pizza about an hour ago,” Patrick says, smirking. “Before they even got here. I was going to offer them some when it arrives. I’m not completely inept, you know.” 

“That’s news to me,” Jimmy says, smirking back. He then turns back to Claire and Bender and smiles. “Make yourselves at home.”

He then makes his way out of the room, first stopping in front of Patrick and whispering something that Claire can’t hear. After a second, Patrick flashes Claire a reassuring smile, then follows Jimmy out of the room.

Left alone again, Claire looks over at Bender to try to gauge what he is thinking. He doesn’t give anything away, fixing his eyes on the wall across from them. A wave of frustration comes over her; she clenches her jaw and rubs her hands together in her lap. Today has been such a long, exhausting, and confusing day and Claire just wants to talk about it. But Bender isn’t _saying_ anything. 

“John,” Claire whispers, expecting him to mutter something in response. She watches him out of the corner of her eye and sees him sitting completely still, not moving a muscle. She sighs and turns to face him. Dropping all pretense that she isn’t watching him, she sees his shoulders tense as he rubs his hands together in his lap. “Fine,” she says to the walls of the room. 

She can’t even tell how long they sit like this, not talking. Some time later, the doorbell rings and her brother emerges from wherever he disappeared to answer it. It’s the pizza delivery man, and Patrick pays him then takes the large box from his hands. Sometime during this interaction, Jimmy made his way into the room and sat in the arm chair in the corner. Patrick shuts the door behind the delivery man and turns to face the group. “Pizza, anyone?”

~~~

They eat in virtual silence. Claire watches as her brother and Jimmy exchange concerned looks as they watch Bender, who is saying nothing and only moving every so often to shove more pizza into his mouth. Claire is watching them all watch each other, except for Bender who is pretending that he doesn’t know that everyone in the room is watching his every move. Time passes slowly, but then everyone is finished with dinner and Claire knows that it’s time to leave. Time to leave her brother again and time to take Bender back to Shermer to an uncertain future. 

Patrick knows it too, because he shoots her a soft smile and nods. Claire smiles back. Jimmy collects their plates and disappears into the kitchen. Claire meets her brother in the center of the room and pulls him into a big hug. Patrick kisses the top of her head, then leans back. Claire drops her arms and smiles up at her big brother. He’s much more subdued and quiet than when they were younger, but he looks so much happier. “You look happier now,” Claire whispers, telling him what she’s been thinking.

Patrick squeezes her arm and smiles. “I am happier now,” he says. 

Just then, Jimmy rushes back into the room. “Ok, do you two need anything for the trip? Are you sure you don’t want to stay the night?” 

Claire decides that Jimmy is absolutely perfect for her brother. She walks over and envelopes him in a hug. She doesn’t feel him hug her back at first, most likely because of shock, but then she feels light arms wrap around her torso. She whispers, so no one will overhear her, “Thank you for taking care of my big brother.”

She then pulls back, out of his arms and sees a shocked but soft look on his face. Instead of saying anything out loud, he just nods slowly. 

Behind her, she hears Bender move. She turns to see him stand up, wincing only slightly, then stand in front of Patrick. “Thanks,” he says, then extends his uninjured hand for him to shake. While it may seem like a nothing gesture to others, Claire knows that John Bender saying thank you is a rare sight to behold. She notes that he’s said it frequently today, that he hasn’t said anything truly cruel at all. 

Patrick grasps his hand and shakes it. Bender then turns to look at Jimmy. “Nice to meet you,” Bender says, and Claire lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. She knows that Bender can be nice if he wants to be, but she was afraid that he _wouldn’t want to_. 

Jimmy seems to be relieved to, probably unsettled by Bender’s consistent silence all evening. “Nice to meet you too, John,” he says, then he reaches over and shakes his hand.

Claire begins to gather her things, while Jimmy and Bender stand next to each other without speaking and Patrick writes something on a slip of paper. After Claire collects everything and shrugs on her coat, her brother hands her the small piece of paper. She looks at it and sees a collection of numbers.

“Our phone number,” Patrick clarifies. “Don’t be a stranger anymore. And let me know,” he says, nodding his head in Bender’s direction. 

Claire knows exactly what he means, and she nods in agreement. She hugs her brother one more time. She is certain that if she stays here for another minute, she will begin to sob. She reaches over and grabs John’s uninjured hand and squeezes. “Let’s go home,” she says to Bender, who looks at her with an amused look on his face. Before he can say whatever he’s about to say, Claire tugs on his arm and pulls open her brother’s door. 

~~~

As Claire puts the car in drive and starts to pull away from her brother’s house, she takes one last look in her rear view mirror. She sees Patrick and Jimmy standing in the doorway. Patrick is laughing at something Jimmy said, and her heart begins to hurt when she realizes that she hasn’t seen him like that since before he was a teenager. Forcing herself to look away, she focuses on the road in front of her. 

Not surprisingly, Bender doesn’t say a word for a long time. Claire listens to the soft music coming from the radio and grips the steering wheel tightly. She has no idea what is going to happen when they get back to her house, she has no idea what Bender will do or say. He continues to surprise her, and it’s putting her on edge. 

Bender finally opens his mouth when they cross the border back into Illinois. “So,” he says, causing Claire to jump a little in her seat. “Your brother’s…” He trails off at the end, as if he isn’t sure how to phrase what he wants to say. 

“Gay?” Claire says, forcing down the defensive edge her voice wants to take. “Yes.”

Bender doesn’t speak, and Claire wishes more than anything that she could see his face. She doesn’t know how many minutes pass before he speaks again. It could have been ten or thirty; she has no way of knowing. But he does talk again.

“So was it the gay thing or the dropping out of med school thing that pissed your parents off?” He asks, and Claire has to stifle a laugh, even though it is far from funny.

“Both,” Claire answers. “But when we moved him into this house and he told us that he had a boyfriend, my parents dragged me out and we never looked back. Today is the first time that I’ve seen him since I was eleven.” She hadn’t really meant to say all of that, but she wants to trust John so badly that she finds herself testing him, trying to see whether he is worthy of her trust or if he will break it. She never expects him to do the right thing, even though he almost always does. 

“That’s fucked,” he says, then falls silent again. 

Neither of them say another word the rest of the drive. 

~~~

It’s nearly midnight when Claire pulls into the driveway in front of her home. When she throws the car in park and unbuckles herself, she turns to Bender. For a second, she thinks he’s asleep, but then he pulls his head up from where it had just rested on the window. 

“Are we home, Sweets?” Bender asks, a shit-eating grin on his face. She knows that he is making fun of her for her earlier remark, but she can’t help but smile.

“Yup,” she says. “Let’s go inside.”

She steps out of the car as Bender pushes his door open. Claire rushes over to the passenger side and holds out her hand to help John up. He grimaces at her advance, but when he can’t manage to get up on his own, he takes it. She pulls him up gently until they are face to face. They’re only a few inches apart now. _I could kiss him. He’s so close. I could lean up and kiss him,_ she thinks, and she almost does until Bender turns his head away and shakes it. 

“We should talk,” he says. Claire’s heart sinks down to her toes. She feels faint, like her head is about to fall off. Bender doesn’t seem to notice, and if he does, he chooses to ignore it. Instead, he closes the car door behind him. 

He winces slightly and grasps at his side, but then he pulls the car keys out of her hands and pushes past her. She watches him walk towards the door and unlock it. As she watches him step inside, she finally makes a move towards the house. 

Bender left the door open, so Claire steps inside and closes it behind her. She sees Bender looking around the room. He’s standing by her fireplace, picking up the pictures that sit on top of it and setting them down again. He picks up her mother’s favorite decoration, a golden camel candle holder encrusted with diamonds, and flips it over. He snorts and flips it over again, then places it back where he got it. 

“Don’t worry, I didn’t pocket anything,” Bender says, and although he’s smiling, she can tell that it’s forced. She can tell that he’s angry. Angry at her. 

“I didn’t think that you did,” Claire replies. He only shakes his head in response and walks past her yet again and starts to climb up the stairs. Claire whips around and follows him up, taking two steps at a time.

Bender is touching every trinket that her mother has lining the hallway. Every houseplant, he touches the leaves. Every picture frame, he traces with his finger. It reminds her a lot of detention, him tearing through books and digging through the library cards. 

He makes it to the end of the hallway and twists the doorknob to a room. She doesn’t realize that it’s her bedroom until he pushes the door open. “Wait,” she says, but he steps inside. Claire sighs. The only thing she can do now is follow him in. 

When she steps into the room, she sees Bender staring. He’s staring at her pink walls, her pink sheets, her pink room. She can feel him judging her. She hugs herself and watches him as he takes in everything. After a silent minute, he turns to face her. She can’t read the look on his face and can’t figure out what he’s thinking. She never really can, she should stop trying. She should stop trying to figure John Bender out period.

He stares at her openly. Maybe he’s trying to figure her out too. _He really doesn’t have to_ , she thinks. _I’m an open book for him._

Seconds pass. They make no move to talk to each other. They just stare. 

_This is ridiculous,_ Claire thinks. “Let’s sit,” she says out loud. She gestures to her bed, and Bender quirks his eyebrow playfully. She thinks he’s about to tease her or make some sort of sex joke, but he just sits. It catches Claire off guard, but she settles down next to him. They sit, a few inches between them, in silence. Claire's tired of sitting in silence. 

“You said you wanted to talk,” Claire says.

“I do,” he responds. 

“Then talk.” 

Bender sighs. He grips his broken arm with his other hand, and Claire thinks that he must be doing it unconsciously. “I shouldn’t have called you tonight,” he says.

Claire feels another rush of irritation come over her. He’s said those words several times tonight. She thinks he’s trying to make her feel guilty somehow. Whether it’s conscious or not, it’s getting on Claire’s nerves. “And what exactly would you have done instead?” She snaps.

“Dealt with it. Like I always do,” he says back, although the fight that usually is present in his speech is absent. 

“Even you said this was worse than usual,” Claire says, calming her voice down. He doesn’t respond, and Claire doesn’t want him shutting down again. “I’m glad you called.”

He scoffs at that. “Yeah, sure seemed like it,” he says. At first, Claire can’t figure out what he’s talking about. She thinks that she’s been nothing but helpful all night. She brought him to her brother. She let him into her brother’s life. She watched him meet her brother’s boyfriend. Her brother healed his wounds. But then she remembers how she reacted when he first called her. How she rambled and yelled. 

“I was angry with you,” she says softly.

“Was? Are you not _angry_ with me anymore, Claire?” He says, his usual venom back in his voice. 

“Can we talk about the fight instead of starting a new one?” Claire says back, her own voice rigid and angry.

“Fine!” Bender says, throwing his uninjured arm in the air before letting it fall down again.

“Fine,” Claire says, a lot softer. She’s determined not to be her mother. She will not be passive. “I’m going to start by saying that I don’t think that I did anything wrong.” He scoffs at that, but before he can say anything, she places a hand on his knee. “But I am sorry that I offended you.”

“You didn’t offend me, Cherry. Not really,” he says. “It’s just not something I want to talk about.”

“What part?” Claire asks.

“Come on, you know exactly what part,” he says. And Claire does know. She remembers every detail of the fight. It was only a few days ago, even though it seems like a millennia. 

_They were sitting under the bleachers, kissing between classes. Every time she knew John would be there, Claire made an effort to meet him. They were lying down this time, side by side. John’s hand was tangled in Claire’s hair and Claire was gripping his wrist. He was in control, his lips moving over hers while she let it happen. Claire remembered thinking that it wasn’t possible that anyone else could kiss her like John does. He’s different under the bleachers, softer. Claire would've given him anything right there, if he had asked. But of course he didn’t._

_She broke away from the kiss to breath and rested her head against his forehead. He mumbled something into her hair and then sat up, pushing her away from him. At first, Claire was caught off guard, but then she watched him reach for his lighter and a joint. The time under the bleachers was still considered Bender’s smoking time; Claire was just there to keep him company. Not that she minded at all._

_She sat up too, brushing invisible dirt off of her clothes. He lit the joint and put it in his mouth. After a few drags, he offered it to her, but she declined. She watched him as he got high, looking like a king of some kind. He knew that she was staring, and even said so. “You’re staring, Cherry,” he said._

_Claire shrugged. He wasn’t wrong. She leaned back on her arms and blew her bangs out of her eyes. Allison is always doing that; Claire must have caught onto the habit somewhere along the way._

_Bender was completely zoned out, staring at the field behind Claire’s shoulder. Maybe it was the mystical look on his face that made her say it, or maybe it was the fumes from the joint. Either way, she did say it. “When are you going to take me on a proper date?”_

_Those eleven words snapped Bender right out of his stupor. He whipped his head to look at her, then quirked his head. “What are you talking about?” He asked, and Claire knew immediately that she had fucked up. If he wasn’t calling her Cherry, if he wasn’t calling her anything, it was bad._

_“Uh, nothing,” Claire said, then busied herself with picking at her fingernails. Bender didn’t let it go however, no matter how much she wanted him to._

_“A date?” He asked. Fuck, he sounded amused. Claire was embarrassed. She was upset._

_“Yes John, a date. Are you unfamiliar with the concept?” Claire snapped, hoping that her anger would cover her mortification. Of course John didn’t want to date her. He wouldn’t ever stoop so low._

_“Pretty much,” he muttered._

_“I can pay and everything,” Claire continued, wishing that she hadn’t. Her mouth was practically working on its own, rushing right past her brain. “Until you get a job. It’d be fine.”_

_Bender throws the joint on the ground and stands, crushing it under his boot. “And what if I don’t want your fucking money, Cherry?” He asked, his voice level his face flushed._

_“Woah,” Claire said, rushing to her feet. “That’s not what I meant. I just want to go out. With you. And I know you haven’t figured out what you want to do…”_

_“That’s right,” he said, teeth gritted. “I haven’t. And that is none of your concern.”_

_Claire paused, her brows furrowed. “Of course it is. I care about you and I want you to find job you like.”_

_“So I can spend whatever money I make buying fucking meals for you, Princess?” Bender said._

_Tears started to form in the corners of her eyes. “Why are you being like this? I didn’t mean it like that!”_

_“Then how did you mean it?” He said. He wasn’t shouting at her, not really, but his voice was stern and his jaw was clenched._

_She was crying then. Big, ugly tears streamed down her cheeks. “I don’t care if you spend money on me! I want you to get a job so you can get out of that house when we graduate,” she said and Bender shook his head._

_“Like I said, that is none of your concern. I can take care of myself. I’ve been doing it for years.”_

_“I know you have! But I want to be there for you!” she said. She could taste the salt from her tears on her lips. “Is it such a bad thing that I want to go on dates with you?”_

_“Why don’t you find some rich, prom king to buy you all the things you desire? Because there is no way that I’m ever going to be able to do that for you,” he said, and Claire felt her heart sink. “I’m never going to be the person you want me to be.”_

_“So that’s it? You don’t want to be with me?” Claire shouted. “What has all of this been about these last few weeks? Were you just leading me on?”_

_Bender didn’t say anything. Instead, he grabbed his backpack off the rickety lawn chair he likes to sit on, and stormed out from under the bleachers._

That was the last time she had seen him until today.

“I still don’t fully understand,” Claire whispers, tears threatening to make a reappearance. “Why the idea of dating me repulses you so much.”

The bed moves as John shifts to face her. It catches her so off guard that she pulls her hand off his knee, only for him to grab it between his two and hold it.

“What,” he says. “Are you talking about.”

Claire frowns, then looks at their enjoined hands. “Our fight?” She means to say it, but it comes out as more of a question. 

A frown on John’s face mirrors hers. “That’s not what the fight was about,” he says simply.

Claire shakes her head.”Yes, it was. You said that I should find someone else.”

“Yeah, and?” He says, and Claire can’t help but laugh.

“You said that you didn’t want to keep seeing me. You said you would never give me what I wanted.”

“No, I said I would never _be able to_ give you what you want. And that doesn’t even matter. We were not fighting about my thoughts about dating you,” John says as he rubs his calloused thumb over her hand. 

“Then what were we fighting about?” Claire asks, her voice getting caught in her throat. She almost can’t believe that John Bender is sitting in her room, rubbing her hand and looking at her with a vulnerable stare. 

“The fact that you are trying to control my future,” he says.

Claire’s jaw drops. She can hardly believe what she’s just heard. “I’m sorry, I’m trying to _what_?”

“You have been pushing me to get a job since we started this. I know that you want someone who can take care of you and you’re trying to make that person me,” he says.

Claire is stunned silent. She cannot believe what has just come out of John Bender’s mouth. She can’t even begin to describe how wrong he is. “I’m sorry, but that is complete bullshit.”

“What? But that’s what you said,” Bender protests.

“I absolutely did not. I want you to be safe! I want you to have a future!”

“So I can be the person you want,” he says, and although the statement is accusatory, there is no sense of it in his voice. In fact, he sounds confused.

“No! I want you to be the person _you_ want to be. The person you can be,” she says. “I may be a selfish bitch, but I do care about you. This isn’t all about what I want. I am not trying to control your future at all. That’s your business. I just want you to have the chance to make those choices.”

Bender falls silent and drops his gaze to his lap, just like she had a few moments ago. He’s still rubbing his thumb back and forth across her knuckles. She doesn’t think he even notices, and she certainly isn’t going to call it to his attention. He meets her eye again, but now he’s smiling. 

“We are both really fucking stupid, aren’t we,” Bender says, and Claire can’t hold in the laugh that follows. 

“Pretty much,” she says. “I’m sorry,” she adds, because she feels like it has to be said.

“I’m sorry too,” John says. She’s almost surprised he says it back. John Bender doesn’t seem like the kind to apologize to anyone. The fact that he said it to her makes her feel warm inside.

John gently pulls his hands away from hers and stands. “You got any pajamas I can borrow?”

~~~

After Claire digs through her closet and finds Bender a pair of Patrick’s old pajamas, she too gets changed and they climb into bed. Her heart is hammering in her chest; she can’t believe that she’s in bed next to a boy. Next to a _very shirtless John Bender_. Her parents would kill her. It’s a good thing for her that they aren’t home.

She’s curled into his side, her head resting on his chest above his injured ribs. She is being incredibly careful not to hurt him. John’s hand is in her hair, letting it slide through his fingers. She is tracing her fingers lightly across the skin on his chest. She can see the bruising, even in the dark light. She can’t wait to see them heal. 

“I actually did get a job you know,” John says. Claire raises her eyebrows and tilts her head so she can look at him.

“You did?”

“Yeah. For a lawn service company. I’m gonna save up so I can go to trade school. Become a mechanic,” he says. He sounds as if he’s trying to brush it off as no big deal, but she can tell that he knows it’s important.

Claire presses a soft kiss to the skin by his neck. “That’s amazing.”

“We’ll have to wait for my first paycheck, but maybe I could take you out on that date you were talking about,” he says. Claire smiles into the crook of his neck, pressing another kiss there. 

“You don’t have to do that,” Claire says.

“I know, but I want to.”

“Okay. I’m definitely not going to argue with you,” Claire says. 

The two of them fall silent. John’s hand in her hair feels nice, and she realizes that she’s falling asleep. Before she can completely drift into unconsciousness, she remembers Allison. “Did you hear about Allison?” She says, stifling a yawn. 

“Only that you were visiting her today after school,” he says.

“Well, her parents are gone,” Claire says, deciding to go with the short version of the story. “They didn’t leave a note. She doesn’t know if they’re coming back.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he curses.

“I know,” Claire says. “But she says you can stay there.”

John stills his hand in her hair, and she’s scared that she said the wrong thing again. But, like always, John catches her by surprise. “Really?”

“Yes. I called when we were at my brother’s house.”

“I- Thank you,” he says, and Claire’s heart warms. “I actually went home early today to pack up all my shit.”

This catches Claire’s attention. She leans up on her elbow so she is above him looking down. “What?”

He tucks a piece of her hair behind her ear. “Yeah. I didn’t even have a plan, I just decided that I was done. My old man caught me before I could leave.”

Claire leans down to kiss him. She knows that she can’t fix this for him. She knows that she can’t take away all of his pain. But she can kiss him. She bites on his lower lip and he opens his mouth in response. His tongue tentatively touches hers and her brain short-circuits. All of her thoughts leave her brain and all she can do it kiss him. She grips his face tight and presses harder into the kiss. His good arm escapes from her hair and moves down to hold her lightly at the waist. They do this for a while, holding each other. Claire pulls back first, short of breath, and smiles down at the boy she’s come to like so much. He smiles back.

“I’m sorry that all of this happened,” Claire whispers, the smile disappearing off her face as she looks down at John’s chest again.

“Hey, it’s not your fault. Besides, I managed to grab my bag of shit before he could take it from me,” he says. “I stashed it under the bleachers at school.”

“Now you never have to go back there,” she says quietly, then presses a chaste kiss against his lips. She cozies herself again in his arms and closes her eyes. “Good night, John.”

As she starts to fade into sleep, she feels John press a soft kiss on the top of her head. The last thing she hears before she succumbs to her exhaustion is “Good night, Claire.”

~~~

Claire wakes up warmer than usual. It also smells quite different than she’s used to. Her pillow is also much nicer. As she starts to drift out of her sleep, she remembers the events of the night before in vivid detail. John’s broken arm and ribs, Patrick’s house, Jimmy, and John in her bed. Her eyes snap open when she realizes that her head isn’t resting on her pillow, but on John Bender himself. He’s still asleep, one arm wrapped up in Patrick’s makeshift cast and the other wrapped around Claire’s waist. 

She quickly glances over at her alarm clock. The time reads 6:38 am. Claire breaths out a sigh. She still has about an hour to get John out of the house before her parents get home. Gently placing her hand on John’s shoulder, she slowly shakes him. “John,” she whispers. He groans in response, but then cracks his right eye open a crack. 

“Good morning, Princess,” he says, smirking. His voice is low and crackly due to sleep, and Claire wants to drown herself in it.

She leans down and presses a quick kiss to his lips, not wanting to do anything more until she brushes her teeth. “My parents are going to be home soon,” she says.

“Why don’t we let them catch us like this? Give them a real scare?” He says.

“I know you’re kidding, but they would actually disown me,” she says, kicking the covers off and sitting on the side of the bed.

“Oh, I’m not kidding,” he says, then does the same. 

Claire walks over to her wardrobe and pulls out some more of Patrick’s old clothes. She picks out a shirt, some jeans, socks, and underwear. Passing them over to Bender, she says “Go get ready.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he says, then he salutes her. He grabs the clothes then heads to the bathroom attached to Claire’s room. “Love the private spa you have here, Cherry. I just might have to come visit you more often.” Claire shakes her head and laughs, while John winks at her and shuts the door.

~~~

After they get ready and they eat some breakfast, Claire drives John to his Saturday detention. As they pull into Shermer High’s parking lot, Claire has a sudden longing to go join him. As if reading her thoughts, Bender says, “Try not to miss me too much, alright Cherry?”

Claire smirks and leans in. “I’ll try my best.”

John shakes his head and meets her halfway, kissing her lightly. While the intense kisses they have shared have been absolutely amazing, it’s the small, sweet ones that make her heart pound loudly in her chest. When they pull apart, Claire is sure that she is flushed pink from head to toe. John just smiles lazily and leans over to open his door. 

“I’ll pick you up later?” Claire asks, and Bender nods. 

“See you later,” he says, before shutting the door and walking towards Shermer High’s front doors. 

After Claire watches him disappear behind the doors, she goes to put her car in drive. Before she does, she notices a wallet in the cupholder. She immediately knows that it’s John’s; she’s seen it before. In detention. 

She swallows hard. She knows she shouldn’t look, that it will ruin the happy bubble that she’s in with Bender right now. But she also knows that if she doesn’t, there’s no way she will ever be able to stop thinking about it.

Claire tentatively picks up the black wallet and opens it. To her absolute surprise, it’s completely empty. The pictures of the girls are gone. 

Claire lets out a breath, feeling tears form in the corners of her eyes. This time, they aren’t from anger or sadness. She’s happy. She knows now that she won’t turn out like her parents. Whether or not this thing she and Bender have is forever, she _feels_ this from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. She knows that her brother has found this feeling with Jimmy too. There is no doubt in her mind that the Standish children have escaped the curse that has overtaken their parents.

Sure, John Bender may never call her his girlfriend. But she’s all his and he’s all hers. Claire can’t help but think that it’s the only thing that matters anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me so long to update this... This chapter took me such a long time to write. I hope you enjoy it!

**Author's Note:**

> The trilogy no one asked for...  
> I hope you enjoy this! It should be around 11 chapters when I'm done. Thank you for reading!


End file.
